the blue line

as per usual, i hurry down the platform of the blue line to get to the very first car.  i get on and there are no seats available.  no seats?  man, i just checked out this really cool book from the library and it's hard to read standing up.  sigh... whatever.  then someone gets off at monroe and I make a mad dash for the seat but there is a tall man on his way there too.  he sees me trying to get there, and says "you wanna sit down".  i say, "oh! sure..." and then i give it a second thought and say no, it's fine. i mean he is older than me by at least 15 years.  but he insists and in order to prevent a scene with this man claiming to be a gentleman, I take the seat.  I mean he could have been 20 years older than me, but, he looked healthy... plus... my book.  i sit, and begin to read the foreword.  the man is gone soon and a whole ton of people push their way into the car and stand against each other trying not to touch.  standing next to my seat is a man in his 40s, and next to him is a woman about the same age, wearing a blue jean skirt, her back is to me.  At the next stop another woman in a similar age category wedges her way next to my seat.  she has thin bangs that don't match, in color, the rest of her hair.   i start feeling nervous, and also guilty.  normally people don't give up their seats to people in this age group. only for people with white hair, and /or canes, walkers, crutches or noticable limps.  and baby bumps. right?  i have wanted to in the past (when i had yet to discover how much more enjoyable a train ride is when you are reading), but decided against it because i didn't want to offend a woman in the middle of her life by suggesting that she was incapable of standing up just like everyone else, who really only happen to be a few years younger.  (and let's not even begin to suggest that someone is pregnant.) so i sit here conflicted.  i steal a few glances at the lady whose bangs don't match her hair and see faint wrinkles in her face, and i keep feeling the man in his 40s staring at me.  i can't read anymore.  i put away my book, and look back at the the lady with the bangs that don't match her hair and say "do you wanna sit down?"  she says "no, thank you".  i say "are you sure" and she says " yeah".  so I turn around, take a breath and get my book back out.  i hear the man in his 40s and the woman in the blue jean skirt whispering and i look up and they're looking at me.  "do you want to sit down?"  she nods.  

standing there i look down at her feet.  (the woman in the blue jean skirt, that is.) the thick straps on her sandals are digging into her skin leaving it red and raw.  i look up at her face and her eyes are shut tightly,  like the eyes of a child making a really important wish.  i look over and now the man in his 40s is sitting too.  i think he may be nodding off to sleep.